| much needed explanation |
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05:23pm 21/01/2009 |
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i should apologize to everyone that i've been harsh, bitter, or resentful towards. With my shi date coming ever closer, i'm truely starting to realize the full weight of everything that either needs to be done, or needs to get done when i get back. i need to get an apartment that will run $1550 a month (fucking ridiculous how much money that will be), i need to get a car, need to start going to school, need to decide wether or not to go to Afghanistan with my unit, survive for 6 months alone, enroll in schools all across mass so that i can go to school in the same general area as ashley, fucking drop about 40 lbs for basic, pass my senior year, work on a 300 page book for senior project, save money for when i will finally need it, learn how to force myself through the most basic of tasks. the list is endless. to much stuff constantly buzzing around in my head, to many 'what if's', so i apologize for being the way i've been lately. it' just hat there's to much pressure at the moment. sorry for whinning |
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Read 2 - Post - Add to Memories - Tell a Friend - Link
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| hi everyone =] |
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05:13pm 30/11/2008 |
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wow, it's been a really long time since i've used this online journal, i guess it's just not something that really suits me. however i think it's good for one thing, and that's to rant for no other reason than as a sort of self therapy. most people rant about how life sucks, or how they hate current situations. if any of you don't know i joined the army national guard, and for the most part i love it, problem is that i'm not so much into the idea of going away for 7 months after high school. it makes me feel... rushed. to me it feels kind of like i have to hurry up and do everything that needs to be done within the next few months or i'm done. not going to be able to go back and do it again. i on't know, kind of like, my life, or what it has become up untill this point is going to end very very soon. and to all of the friends that i've lost, or am about to lose in the next few months, sorry, but i guess it's just me trying to ease out of my old life, no turning back now =/ i'm glad for one thing though. and that's ashley. i never thought that anyone in this world would ever be caoable of making me this happy. sometimes i get so happy that my vision starts to blur. i'm glad, because in her i see a connection to my past and my future, one that'll hopefully stay by my side for a long long time to come. god, i love this girl. words will never be able to explain it, it's like i've finally found the rest of me. i know taht sounds so utterly cliche and stupid, but hey, it's the only way i can state it. =] love you <333 /hug but anyways, i really hope that i can get through this year with good enough grades to go to a decent college, wish me luck people ^^; ima need everything in me to focus and actually do work for a change |
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| Hello world, welcome to the darkness. |
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12:04pm 25/07/2008 |
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breathe in deep
smell these halls of hate
carve your name into these walls
before it is too late
cold and twisted
they resisted
what was I to do
all I ever wanted was
a fraction of the truth
walking in the shadows
of my blackened mind
lost inside this shallow
vanity of time
what if there's a God a hell and heaven
fire is the torment I must face
dying by the souls I have forsaken
no one's going to catch my fall from grace
(bleed on me)
watch me from your cage
as I rejoin my painful prime
(suffer and exhale)
you and I are relics
w eprovoke and we recline
walking in the shadows
of my blackened mind
angels crave my sorrow
sorrow they will find
what if there's a God a hell and heaven
fire is the torment I must face
dying by the souls I have forsaken
no one's going to catch my fall from grace
walking in the shadows
of my blackened mind
angels crave my sorrow
sorrow they will find
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| sorry for not posting in such a long time ^^; |
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07:50am 21/04/2008 |
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so. let's begin with the basics. i'm still madly in love with a particular ashley campo, everything seems to be goingso tremendously well between us, words can't describe this euphoria. so that at least is still a very good constant.
as for other things, for those of you that don't already know my brother came home from Basic. and let me say that he is like one of the coolest guys of all time, he has changed for the better in every single way. and that aside also, nothing much has been going on ion my life since my last post. i've been working alot lately, and working nearly every day this week during the night. annnnnd, i've been finally gettign around to reading some of the books that i've been wanting to read for like a good year or so now. i had forgotten how much one seris in particular means to me, i lvoe reading, and gamiong. which leads to the next topic. as of late i've been in a very intense reading mood, which means that i haven't really spen any time on my gaming asides from COD4. this will be changing very soon, once i finish the book that i am on i'll be getting EQ2...again. should be a good time, also i want to start getting back into using my 360 on a regular basis, so for those of you that don't hav LJ but still read mine (there's like 7 of you i think) my gammer tag is Yakuz Outcast. look me up if you ever get bored =] and that's about it really, once i get my money on wensday i'll be getting EQ2 and then i'll probablly save the rest for a really nice Heron marked blade. plans for sometime during this week off from school? =3 |
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Post - Add to Memories - Tell a Friend - Link
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| =] |
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02:24am 18/03/2008 |
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so it's been about 3 weeks since my last livejournal entry. and to be honest, not to much has changed on those three weeks. i joined track, that's about iot ^^; and i jsut realized that it'll be my 2 month with ashley on wensday. it's almost sicking just how fast time seems to slip away. although i'm glad that i'll at least get to see that time fly by in the arms of mi amor |
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| lalalala |
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03:47pm 19/02/2008 |
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things are starting to get painfully monotonus. cept for with her that is. yuhhh, will someone blow up my kitty or somethng for a little change of pace? :D hmm.... yup, sucks considering this is my first entry in over a week and it's all bad xD only thing i could talk about that is good is her, and i don't feel like ranting about how amazingly perfect she is =3 (love youu) well, back to WoW: Stormbrewer, playing on Ravencrest for those of you that don't already know and want to meet up [= |
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| (no subject) |
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07:48pm 19/01/2008 |
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i never th ought i could love anyone this much. to be honest i barely know what to do, she's so amazing that it's even got me back on my heels, i used to pride myself on my ability to remain calm and composed no matter the situation. yet you've managed to find a way to break through that sheild of mine, my mind goes blank, and all i can do is smile when i look or even think about you. yuh, i'm crazy. oh well =] but i digress! i have not posted a real entry on my LJ in quite some time. so i'll stat from the begining, errr. actually i'm, not that sure n_n; i gotz WoW again, this time i'm not going to cancel my subscription, curently lvl 20 tauren Warrior, chillen out in the Ghost Lands of Raven Crest. look me up if you get the chance i'm useually on if i have nothing to dire to do. yuh, such a good game. D< BELLA SWAN IS THE MOST RETARDED PERSON I"VE EVER READ ABOUT! JUST STFU AND DECIDE WHAT THE HELL YOUR GOING TO DO! <333 /happiness seizure Familey guy star wars spoof was like the greatest thing i have ever seen xD could abrely stop laguhing, sorry abou that guys =P just so good, could not contain my mirth. oh wait, was i not here to talk about stuffz? ah, here we go. yeah, only major thing that's happened are the midterms. all of which have been going extremly well. i will probablly aqiuest my lowest grade on my math midterm, i blame rusty for distracting me with talk of WoW/ HIM / She Wants Revenge / Stories of our similar childhoods /other amzing things. but it's all worth it. speaking of school, i've come to the conclusion of 3 things that i will want to do as a profession once i grow up. i still want to become a writter, that's been my dream for as long as i can seriously remember. and of course msot people probablly know that i want to major in chemistry becuase that is my absolute favorite subject. but something new has just arisen into the battle field that is my life. i was thinking possibly a lawer? not sure. i did research on Harvard, and remarkably enough i have all the credntials needed to get in minus the S.A.T. grades (becuase i haven't taken them yet) but yeah, i don think i would mind being a lawer, i like being challenged and being able to use my head in every possible ways. plus there is pretty decent pay in that carrer ^^ oh wellz, that should be it for now. and one more time, i love you. |
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| (no subject) |
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10:09pm 18/01/2008 |
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"Todayyyy Was the best day of my liiiiife. And I can say that, because as I reflected upon the events of today, I didn't regret a thing except parting. I don't think I've ever felt this way before. " i copy pasted this from her, seriously now, i couldn't have put it any better myself. simply win. i can still hardly belive that this is real. if it's a dream, then don't let me wake up. if it's not, then don't let me screw this up. regardless, i love you. always will. asdbg asuksyuvf asdykcvfacfascfasd xcf asty <3 /blush /happyness seizure /love. =] mood:  loved |
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| mhmmm |
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01:48pm 15/01/2008 |
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everything seems to be getting so much better. can't even describe it, just, -sigh- just good =] except for WoW servers being down D< mood:  curious |
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| n_n |
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10:06pm 07/01/2008 |
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Brenton = one of the most epic people i know. we used to talk like once every month or so for like 2 minutes, but then we got seated one behind the other in math class. jesus.christ. the things we have in common =P we like all the same things. and we just chill all the time. then we started playing WoW together, pretty epic, and with ashley as an addition to our already formidable pair nights spent on WoW are like the best ever n_n |
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| January 2009 |
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mystic_theurge's journal
contemplative